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April 19, 2006

Comments

David Murray

Eric--

I'll apologize for calling Allan a nobody as soon as you apologize for presuming to tell us all how to behave.

"I've learned that it's better to reach out with an open hand than a closed fist. And that is a good lesson to learn."

"I'm all for debate and disagreement, but I prefer when it's done with respect, not rancour. "

Gee, thanks, Mister Rogers! It's a little hard to take, coming from the same feller who started this debate with a rather provocative post of his own.

All that said, I am feeling cheerful, and I am very much looking forward to a drink with Allan, Steve, you, et al in Vancouver. Making up is fun to do. But you can't do it without a little fight first.

David

Eric Eggertson

David:

Is my cardigan showing?

I'll admit I'm sometimes guilty of shooting first and asking questions later. When I think I've gone too far, I generally add additional comments that reflect a perspective I was too steamed to mention, or not aware of. If I think it's appropriate, I apologize.

My point about your nobody comment was that your intent may have been to put Allan in his place, but the message was one of disrespect to us folks working in the trenches.

The fact that something you say offends someone doesn't automatically mean you have to apologize. It's completely up to you how to respond to the reaction to any of your statements.

If I sounded overly pious, I unreservedly apologize to my readers for any sanctimoniousness on my part. However, I don't apologize for dispensing free advice. That's why I started blogging in the first place.

I'm hoping to make it to Vancouver, and if so I look forward to meeting you, especially now that we've had a couple of online quarrels.

David Murray

Gotcha. But instead of saying I seem "unable" to apologize, maybe you should have said, I seem "disinclined" to apologize.

(Which I am.)

(Although it's more complicated than that.)

I am writing something on my personal feelings about all this for The Ragan Report; I will lobby the Ragan folks to post it on the outside of the paywall when it comes out in a week or so .... Meanwhile, I very much hope you do make it to Vancouver,

David

Eric Eggertson

David:

See? Providing unsolicited advice is easy, once you get started. Your editing advice is duly noted.

When I said "seems unable to" I was referring to the impression your comments left me with.

In the face of being told your comment was offensive to me and others, you have neither clarified the intentions behind your comment, nor offered anything that could be mistaken for a sincere explanation of what you meant (if you have, and I just didn't notice it, I guess I have to eat my words).

That's fine. But don't be surprised if I and others assume that in dismissing someone (in this case Allan) because of their lowly position in the communications world hierarchy, you also dismiss the rest of us who aren't on your list of notable commentators.

Elisa

Hi - the International Association of Nobodies site came up during a brunch with the BlogHer folk. I'm the blogger for the Robert Fuller the guy who literally wrote the book on Somebodies & Nobodies. http://www.breakingranks.net/

I've been wanting to develop some microbanners and swag for Somebodies & Nobodies for a while, but I think the +nobody meme is fantastic. I'll certainly add the button to the Breaking Ranks site (I've already added you to our blogroll, too). I hope you won't hesitate to call on us for support as you put together your Nobody Movement.

sherri

I definitely think blogs should be building relationships, not destroying them. But let’s face it, some blogs can be brutal and people take offence.
You used the term “insecure blogger.” And yes, some people are insecure about they’re blogging at times. As an amateur student blogger, I’m sometimes nervous about what I write. And someone left a somewhat rude comment about one of my blogs. I was a little disappointed. Especially since they misunderstood what I was trying to say.
For instance, I was giving a numerical example and they perceived it as a fact and attacked my knowledge of the situation. I could have angrily lashed out and insulted their inability to decipher the difference from a fact and an example, but I chose not to do so.
In situations like that, I think the best thing to do is to clarify yourself. The situation also taught me to try to be as clear as possible when I write. There’s almost always room for misunderstanding. But the best thing to do is to learn from your mistakes.
As for these men apologizing to each other, I think it’s great that Steve was able to step up and be mature. I know you should write what you feel, but I also think it is at times necessary to be cautious about what to say about someone else and their blogs. You should be mature about it and I'm pleased to know they solved their problem.

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