Lessons Learned from the Nobody Thing

Ragan Communications blogger Steve Crescenzo watched a colleague get crapped upon by what he and some others perceived to be a horde of rabid, hysterial bloggers.  He has learned several things from the episode:

• Don't insult people, if it makes you look like a pompous ass (I'm paraphrasing);
• Don't piss off insecure bloggers, or they'll attack you;
• A lot of bloggers are blindly prejudiced against the traditional media.

Which is too bad, because I hoped he and others would learn these truths instead:

• It's more gracious to apologize and move on than to bluster about why you should have used a different adjective to insult someone;
• Bloggers are a lot like ordinary people. In fact they are ordinary people (a lot like trade magazine editors and columnists);
• People generally have more in common with others than they think. When they can truly see the other person's perspective, they gain far more than they would by winning an argument.

Steve has a great sense of humour. If not for a personal attack on his reputation by Nobody Allan Jenkins, I'm sure Steve would have found something funny and enlightening about this situation to share with his readers. Instead, he launched a counterattack, slamming Allan for bringing up, out of the blue, an incident from years ago that suggested Steve once acted like a drunken boor.

I'm with Steve on this one. Even Nobodies can be insensitive, and even mainstream media can feel unfairly attacked and personally offended.

An apology for the original Nobody comment by David Murray would have been nice, but I didn't expect it. I'm not holding my breath for Allan to offer an apology for slinging mud in Steve's direction, either.

Assuming no apologies are forthcoming, what else do we learn? In the comments to Steve's post, Ragan Communications' Mark Ragan misses the point about the Nobody movement. He asks for a future report on progress, metrics, and sales.

The Nobody thing wasn't about sales, or site traffic or performance objectives, so don't ask for them. Our lofty goal was to bring people together and try something different. To follow a sense of indignation to its logical conclusion, and see where that took us once we got past the initial slam at an arrogant offhand comment by a trade magazine editor.

It was a bit of agitprop street drama, acted out in the blogosphere instead of at the corporate offices of its target.  It was a social thing, where creative people who barely knew each other beforehand had some fun, made some statements about personal dignity, and showed how a group can quickly coalesce around an idea.

Our goals were achieved when we first extended a hand to others, and got a response. Everything else is gravy.

If no one writes another word about the Nobody thing, we will have exceeded our expectations.  A bunch of people who I used to think of as competitors for audience are now acquaintances, maybe even friends, thanks to an experiment in satirical blogging.

I've learned that it's better to reach out with an open hand than a closed fist.

And that is a good lesson to learn.

Update:  Comments on Steve's blog and a new post on the Nobody blog renew my faith in people. Apologies all around (well, David Murray seems uinable to actually apologize, but he makes cheery noises), and promises to get together for beers at the IABC international conference this June in Vancouver. Now if somebody could strum a guitar, we can sing a round of Kumbaya and put the nastiness behind us.

Comments

[David Murray]

Eric--

I'll apologize for calling Allan a nobody as soon as you apologize for presuming to tell us all how to behave.

"I've learned that it's better to reach out with an open hand than a closed fist. And that is a good lesson to learn."

"I'm all for debate and disagreement, but I prefer when it's done with respect, not rancour. "

Gee, thanks, Mister Rogers! It's a little hard to take, coming from the same feller who started this debate with a rather provocative post of his own.

All that said, I am feeling cheerful, and I am very much looking forward to a drink with Allan, Steve, you, et al in Vancouver. Making up is fun to do. But you can't do it without a little fight first.

David

[Eric Eggertson]

David:

Is my cardigan showing?

I'll admit I'm sometimes guilty of shooting first and asking questions later. When I think I've gone too far, I generally add additional comments that reflect a perspective I was too steamed to mention, or not aware of. If I think it's appropriate, I apologize.

My point about your nobody comment was that your intent may have been to put Allan in his place, but the message was one of disrespect to us folks working in the trenches.

The fact that something you say offends someone doesn't automatically mean you have to apologize. It's completely up to you how to respond to the reaction to any of your statements.

If I sounded overly pious, I unreservedly apologize to my readers for any sanctimoniousness on my part. However, I don't apologize for dispensing free advice. That's why I started blogging in the first place.

I'm hoping to make it to Vancouver, and if so I look forward to meeting you, especially now that we've had a couple of online quarrels.

[David Murray]

Gotcha. But instead of saying I seem "unable" to apologize, maybe you should have said, I seem "disinclined" to apologize.

(Which I am.)

(Although it's more complicated than that.)

I am writing something on my personal feelings about all this for The Ragan Report; I will lobby the Ragan folks to post it on the outside of the paywall when it comes out in a week or so .... Meanwhile, I very much hope you do make it to Vancouver,

David

[Eric Eggertson]

David:

See? Providing unsolicited advice is easy, once you get started. Your editing advice is duly noted.

When I said "seems unable to" I was referring to the impression your comments left me with.

In the face of being told your comment was offensive to me and others, you have neither clarified the intentions behind your comment, nor offered anything that could be mistaken for a sincere explanation of what you meant (if you have, and I just didn't notice it, I guess I have to eat my words).

That's fine. But don't be surprised if I and others assume that in dismissing someone (in this case Allan) because of their lowly position in the communications world hierarchy, you also dismiss the rest of us who aren't on your list of notable commentators.

[Elisa]

Hi - the International Association of Nobodies site came up during a brunch with the BlogHer folk. I'm the blogger for the Robert Fuller the guy who literally wrote the book on Somebodies & Nobodies. http://www.breakingranks.net/

I've been wanting to develop some microbanners and swag for Somebodies & Nobodies for a while, but I think the +nobody meme is fantastic. I'll certainly add the button to the Breaking Ranks site (I've already added you to our blogroll, too). I hope you won't hesitate to call on us for support as you put together your Nobody Movement.

[sherri]

I definitely think blogs should be building relationships, not destroying them. But let’s face it, some blogs can be brutal and people take offence.
You used the term “insecure blogger.” And yes, some people are insecure about they’re blogging at times. As an amateur student blogger, I’m sometimes nervous about what I write. And someone left a somewhat rude comment about one of my blogs. I was a little disappointed. Especially since they misunderstood what I was trying to say.
For instance, I was giving a numerical example and they perceived it as a fact and attacked my knowledge of the situation. I could have angrily lashed out and insulted their inability to decipher the difference from a fact and an example, but I chose not to do so.
In situations like that, I think the best thing to do is to clarify yourself. The situation also taught me to try to be as clear as possible when I write. There’s almost always room for misunderstanding. But the best thing to do is to learn from your mistakes.
As for these men apologizing to each other, I think it’s great that Steve was able to step up and be mature. I know you should write what you feel, but I also think it is at times necessary to be cautious about what to say about someone else and their blogs. You should be mature about it and I'm pleased to know they solved their problem.